First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
