apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
