i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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