ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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