i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
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