Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I need to calm my uterus...
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
