I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
