I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
