That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
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