this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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