dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
