I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize