you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
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