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Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
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