dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
