idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Randomize
