Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
