if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
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