Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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