Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
