Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
