you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
We left the knife in your bed.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
