Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize