Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
