did you get engaged???
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Randomize
