I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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