You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize