I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
