And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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