Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
