I want to stick my p in your. b.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
