Is it normal to miss your booty call?
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
