I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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