I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
