Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
