My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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