i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
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