Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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