So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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