He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
