Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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