8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
