Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Randomize
