The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
