Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
