he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
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