it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I love black thongs
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Randomize
