Betty ford says i'm here all night
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
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