she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Randomize