You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
is this the sara with the beer cane?
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
