Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
