do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
