Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
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