Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
