it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
