apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
