sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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