His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
