I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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