Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
we're so committed to being not committed
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
