Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
