I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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