youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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