about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Life without a bra equals bliss.
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