3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
