How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
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