she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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